My midwife is wanting me to draft a letter to family and friends laying out the ground rules for my upcoming birth. This is relation to the conversation we had about my fears of not having control of my enviroment in my own house, and the fear of hurting other peoples feelings, not focusing on myself.
So, what do you think? I will proabbly edit it many times befor I officially send it out, but i have my appointment with Faith on Monday and might as well go ahead and get started on it.
Due to the Impending arrival of our newest addition, my midwife has asked me to lay out some of the following rules for visitors, and asking for the following help as well. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that we do not appreciate your thoughts and well wishes, but the days following the birth are going to be very important to our family.
During labor, we will not be answering the phone or door, except for our midwife and birthing team. We will probably only call and inform the people who are going to be watching the older kids. Please don’t let this hurt your feelings if you are not invited to the birth, but I will not have the options of pain relief, so it is important that I stay as undisturbed as possible, and am able to focus on nothing but being in labor and having a healthy baby. Ray or I will text updates to certain people, but the phones will be on silent and if you do not get a response in a reasonable amount of time, please don’t panic and come by or start calling. It is just that things may be getting a bit more intense and we are focusing on the here and now. When the baby is born, and we have had a chance to count fingers and toes, we will call/message everyone and let you know. The same as if an emergency happens, we will let you all know as soon as possible.
I have no idea how I will be feeling immediately after birth. The only immediate visitors I can make promises to is the ones who will be dropping off older siblings to meet their little brother. And there will be absolutely no visitors until they have been here and seen him. After that, I am not sure if I will want visitors in the next few hours afterwards, or if it might be the next day, or several days. Grandparents of course will be the exception, and will probably be invited the next day at the very latest for at least a quick peek and snuggle.
During a homebirth it is easy for people to come under the impression that since there is no hospital involvement, mom does not need as extensive recovery, or baby can come into contact immediately with visitors. I encourage all of you to Google “babymoon”. It is going to be very important that we have the time to adjust as a new family, and that Derek, Ray, Kassi, and Kayla have a chance to adjust to the new family dynamics that having a new baby in the house brings. I will be needing time to get into a nursing routine as well, and be needing to catch up on sleep after who knows how long of a labor and birth.
I also do not know how I will feel as far as depression with my sudden drop in hormones, I may not want to be around anyone at all, or I might feel better with tons of company. If you are invited over or stop by to help out, please offer to leave if you notice I need a break. If I still have the energy to stay up and talk, I will invite you to stay longer. I hate to appear overly rude in asking anyone to leave earlier than they are ready, but like I said, this is an important time for recovery and learning the new family dynamics, so please give me the easy out and make the offer if you notice me dragging, or stressing out. Alternately, offer to watch the older kids and let me nap.
It will likely be a few weeks before we are ready to have other children at the house. We have a full house as it is, and it is already very small. I understand you may still want to see the baby, but please try and schedule visits when someone else can stay with the little ones. And call before coming. The exception to this is if you are stopping by to help with my older kids and want to take them for the afternoon to give me a break. No one expects you to leave them in the car while I visit with you for a brief few minutes.
Wash your hands please, as soon as you come into the house.
If you are sick, or someone in your house has been, please wait to come over.
I would love you all to come and meet the baby and see everyone and to spend time, but I will not be in any position to entertain, so please excuse my inevitably messy house. I value each and every one of you, but in the early days I need support and help, and to be able to bond with my baby and adjust to being a mom of 5 (!!!)
These are some of the things we will need the most, and most will take very little of your time, and of course, all will be infinitely appreciated.
• Someone to take the kids out occasionally to go play, go to the park, swimming, zoo, etc
• Bring over dinner. Hold the baby for us so we can eat at the same time, while the food is still hot.
• Grab a few needed items from the grocery store on your way over to visit (we will always need more milk, banannas, bread, and snacks for the kids!)
• Come over and play with the older kids and let me take a nap with the baby.
• Come over and hold the baby so I can get dressed and showered before 5 in the evening
• If you see laundry piled up, help me fold it and put it away
• If the trash is overflowing, empty it.
Most of all what I will need help with is people helping so I can focus on the kids and new little one. Not company who will want to hold the baby while I entertain them.
Thanks for all your love and support,
Andrea, Ray and kids
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The Great Baby Name Debate
I am having so much trouble finding a name for this little one. Sure, there are names I like, love even. But I have this overwhelming feeling that he has a name already, and I just have to find it. I will pick one that sounds great, and have it for a few days or a week, and then I wake up one morning, and just have a feeling that it's not his name and I start to hate it. It's a never ending cycle. And I think it is kind of annoying my husband, hehe.
And then I have everyone and their relatives trying to get me to name the baby after them. Um, how do you say "hell no" politely? My mother in law is the absolute worst. Her name is Kim. She is very adamant that boys can be named Kim too. Not in my culture. In some, yes, it is very socially acceptable, but not around here, and it just aint gonna happen, sister. So then she tries to get me to name the baby after her new husband, Ray's step-dad actually, who she is fighting with so much right now over various things, (including him having an online affair on her) that I am seeing a divorce in the horizon. Nope, not naming the baby after him either.
If I were to make everyone happy, this poor kid would have like 20 middle names, from all parts of the family, friends, and their favorite pet names too.
I am gonna start telling people I have a name picked out and am just keeping it a surprise so they leave me alone. Then I can reveal it at the birth.
I need to at least find another nick-name for him in the meantime, "Baby Boy" just isn't really very original :)
And then I have everyone and their relatives trying to get me to name the baby after them. Um, how do you say "hell no" politely? My mother in law is the absolute worst. Her name is Kim. She is very adamant that boys can be named Kim too. Not in my culture. In some, yes, it is very socially acceptable, but not around here, and it just aint gonna happen, sister. So then she tries to get me to name the baby after her new husband, Ray's step-dad actually, who she is fighting with so much right now over various things, (including him having an online affair on her) that I am seeing a divorce in the horizon. Nope, not naming the baby after him either.
If I were to make everyone happy, this poor kid would have like 20 middle names, from all parts of the family, friends, and their favorite pet names too.
I am gonna start telling people I have a name picked out and am just keeping it a surprise so they leave me alone. Then I can reveal it at the birth.
I need to at least find another nick-name for him in the meantime, "Baby Boy" just isn't really very original :)
Monday, March 21, 2011
24 weeks
I figured I might as well start with a weekly update, instead of just when something exciting happens :)
So I am 24 weeks today. I am going with my original EDD of 7-11, not the adjusted ones that are sooner, because I tend to go over due anyway, might as well give myself a few extra days :)
I have gained way to much weight in the last month. Probably close to 2 lbs a week, unfortunately. We have just been super busy and I have been eating to much take out trying to keep up with the rest of life. I have also been drained of energy the last 2 weeks, more so than usual. Not sure if it's becase of my poor diet, or just getting bigger pregnancy wise, but I am going to make a huge effort to go back to my regular pregnancy, healthier, diet this week and see if it helps. I have an appointment on the 28th, next Monday, with Faith and am kind of scared to see what she has to say about my weight...
I need to start the Chlorophyll this week as well. I have been drinking RRLT off and on pretty regularly. I just miss a day or two here or there, but stay consistent most of the time. I will probably up the frequency of this around 30 weeks and again at 35 and 38, and every week after that too. I'm not sure when Faith wans me to start the EPO. I was thinking orally at around 34/35 weeks and vaginally about 37/38. I have never gone into labor on my own before, and always have pretty large babies. I am so afraid of risking out and having to go to the hospital so I am trying everything and anything to prepare my body before it gets to that point. The longest I have gone was 42w 5d over due and had to be induced for a failed, or worrisome, NST. I do not want to do that again.
Bay boy is growing so big, I need to get my camera out and take some belly pics real soon. His kicking pattern is kind of odd, his placenta is anterior so I feel nothing in the front really, but kicks and bumps all around the sides constantly. He gets hiccups A LOT! Kassi got to feel him kick few day sago. She has been wanting to really bad for a while, and when I had him moving petty good I called her over and she put her hand on my tummy. He moved and her eyes got really big, it was awesome. Then she asks if that's it...um, yeah, pretty cool though, huh? She lost interest quickly after that, lol. Oh, to be 3 again. The boys keep asking when he will be strong enough to see my belly move and roll like they have seen when I was pregnant with their sisters. Hopefully soon.
Faith is not seeing me until Monday the 28th. I will be 26 weeks. And haven't seen her since 18w 5d. I was going to go in today so it would only be 5 weeks in between visits, but she kept pushing for it to go til next week. Not sure why, she just says I am one of her less needy patients, I have done it enough to know what to look for, adding to that I am a doula and know a bit about the whole pregnancy thing, especially after 4 kids already. That and so far I have had a pretty uneventful pregnancy. So I quit arguing with her, and am going next week. Soon I am supposed to be seen every 2 weeks, I think starting at 28 weeks or so, and I wonder if she will start seeing me more often then. Not that i have any horrible concerns or anything, but I tend to watch my weight and exercise better when I am seen more often. And it would be nice to have a closer relationship with this woman who will be delivering my baby, in my house. I would be fine with even every 3 weeks at that point, but this is getting ridiculous, over 6 weeks in between appointments. I wonder sometimes if she is this way because of me not having my fee's paid up, but then again I hope that's just me being paranoid. She hasn't actually acted or said anything to lead me to that belief. Also, I don't know how or when I will be able to pay her, but we haven't had that full conversation yet, I will do that in person the next time I see her unfortunately. Maybe I am glad it's so far away...
So I am 24 weeks today. I am going with my original EDD of 7-11, not the adjusted ones that are sooner, because I tend to go over due anyway, might as well give myself a few extra days :)
I have gained way to much weight in the last month. Probably close to 2 lbs a week, unfortunately. We have just been super busy and I have been eating to much take out trying to keep up with the rest of life. I have also been drained of energy the last 2 weeks, more so than usual. Not sure if it's becase of my poor diet, or just getting bigger pregnancy wise, but I am going to make a huge effort to go back to my regular pregnancy, healthier, diet this week and see if it helps. I have an appointment on the 28th, next Monday, with Faith and am kind of scared to see what she has to say about my weight...
I need to start the Chlorophyll this week as well. I have been drinking RRLT off and on pretty regularly. I just miss a day or two here or there, but stay consistent most of the time. I will probably up the frequency of this around 30 weeks and again at 35 and 38, and every week after that too. I'm not sure when Faith wans me to start the EPO. I was thinking orally at around 34/35 weeks and vaginally about 37/38. I have never gone into labor on my own before, and always have pretty large babies. I am so afraid of risking out and having to go to the hospital so I am trying everything and anything to prepare my body before it gets to that point. The longest I have gone was 42w 5d over due and had to be induced for a failed, or worrisome, NST. I do not want to do that again.
Bay boy is growing so big, I need to get my camera out and take some belly pics real soon. His kicking pattern is kind of odd, his placenta is anterior so I feel nothing in the front really, but kicks and bumps all around the sides constantly. He gets hiccups A LOT! Kassi got to feel him kick few day sago. She has been wanting to really bad for a while, and when I had him moving petty good I called her over and she put her hand on my tummy. He moved and her eyes got really big, it was awesome. Then she asks if that's it...um, yeah, pretty cool though, huh? She lost interest quickly after that, lol. Oh, to be 3 again. The boys keep asking when he will be strong enough to see my belly move and roll like they have seen when I was pregnant with their sisters. Hopefully soon.
Faith is not seeing me until Monday the 28th. I will be 26 weeks. And haven't seen her since 18w 5d. I was going to go in today so it would only be 5 weeks in between visits, but she kept pushing for it to go til next week. Not sure why, she just says I am one of her less needy patients, I have done it enough to know what to look for, adding to that I am a doula and know a bit about the whole pregnancy thing, especially after 4 kids already. That and so far I have had a pretty uneventful pregnancy. So I quit arguing with her, and am going next week. Soon I am supposed to be seen every 2 weeks, I think starting at 28 weeks or so, and I wonder if she will start seeing me more often then. Not that i have any horrible concerns or anything, but I tend to watch my weight and exercise better when I am seen more often. And it would be nice to have a closer relationship with this woman who will be delivering my baby, in my house. I would be fine with even every 3 weeks at that point, but this is getting ridiculous, over 6 weeks in between appointments. I wonder sometimes if she is this way because of me not having my fee's paid up, but then again I hope that's just me being paranoid. She hasn't actually acted or said anything to lead me to that belief. Also, I don't know how or when I will be able to pay her, but we haven't had that full conversation yet, I will do that in person the next time I see her unfortunately. Maybe I am glad it's so far away...
Sunday, March 20, 2011
My amazing dream last night :)
I woke up this morning from the most amazing dream. Dreams are always very vivid to me during pregnancy, but never before have I had one so realistic, about the actual birthing process.
It has started to fade from me as the day goes on, I really should have posted this first thing when I woke up.
I was at home, with my midwives, and my husband, my kids were not here, not even Kassi or Kayla. I was back and forth between my living room where the birth tub was set up, and my bedroom. Everyone was very supportive, and I wasn't scared or in any serious pain, but felt very intense. It was obvious to me I was going through transition. I had a break between transition and pushing where I had no contractions, and went to the bathroom to go pee and see if it felt good to sit on the toilet. It felt great, and I had my labor team stay out of the room so I could gather my thoughts since I still wasn't contracting. I kept thinking, this position will help the baby come down so I can feel the urge to push. When I finally did feel the urge, I reached down to apply counter pressure to my burning perineum, and felt his head right there, so I held it in my hands as it emerged. I was still on the toilet, and didn't want him to fall into the water, so I called out to my midwives, and asked them for help. I wasn't freaking out or anything, just very calm, but I felt unsure on the inside. Faith and Andrea (the two that were there that I can remember. I vaguely think other people may have been, but I blocked them out) answered they were coming, but I could tell from their relaxed sound that they didn't know what was going on, so I called to them, "please hurry, I am holding his head already!" so they came in a bit faster, with Ray trying to rush in as well to see the baby, he was trying to go around them without being rude, but was obviously very anxious. As they came in, the rest of his body slipped out, and I caught him right under his arm pits, and pulled him onto my chest with a huge grin on my face! Andrea exclaimed out how beautiful it was and how glad she is when mama catches her baby herself, as Faith grabbed a towel off the rack by the tub and draped it over us and started gently rubbing him and making sure his color was okay. Ray was right next to me too, and holding on to both the baby and me while still trying to sit far enough back to get a good look at our little one. He had the most georgous color and was so still and quiet just staring into my face.
I woke up right after this, with a feeling that all was right in the world, and I could totally do this! I have to say as well, I have been having a lot of negativity pushed on me from various sources. While I wasn't really considering a hospital birth, I was starting to doubt myself, thinking I might be transferred or be so fearful I might not go into labor myself, or take forever to progress. I have been reading a ton of birth stories, especially from Ina May's books, to try and get myself back into this special place my dream brought me back into. I am so thankful!
Now I have had dreams about labor and birth before, not this pregnancy, so far this was the first, but previous pregnancies I had them a lot starting mid second trimester. They have all been kind of odd, like with weird doctors saying stuff, or me being terrified, strange people coming in, disasters happening, the baby not coming, etc. This was the only realistic labor and birth dream I have ever had. It was awesome. The only strange thing here was the toilet, there is no way I would have room to still be sitting on my toilet flat bottomed and be ale to reach between my legs and catch a baby. I have trouble wiping already, lol. But other than giganto toilet, it was pretty dead on with how I am praying my birth will turn out.
It has started to fade from me as the day goes on, I really should have posted this first thing when I woke up.
I was at home, with my midwives, and my husband, my kids were not here, not even Kassi or Kayla. I was back and forth between my living room where the birth tub was set up, and my bedroom. Everyone was very supportive, and I wasn't scared or in any serious pain, but felt very intense. It was obvious to me I was going through transition. I had a break between transition and pushing where I had no contractions, and went to the bathroom to go pee and see if it felt good to sit on the toilet. It felt great, and I had my labor team stay out of the room so I could gather my thoughts since I still wasn't contracting. I kept thinking, this position will help the baby come down so I can feel the urge to push. When I finally did feel the urge, I reached down to apply counter pressure to my burning perineum, and felt his head right there, so I held it in my hands as it emerged. I was still on the toilet, and didn't want him to fall into the water, so I called out to my midwives, and asked them for help. I wasn't freaking out or anything, just very calm, but I felt unsure on the inside. Faith and Andrea (the two that were there that I can remember. I vaguely think other people may have been, but I blocked them out) answered they were coming, but I could tell from their relaxed sound that they didn't know what was going on, so I called to them, "please hurry, I am holding his head already!" so they came in a bit faster, with Ray trying to rush in as well to see the baby, he was trying to go around them without being rude, but was obviously very anxious. As they came in, the rest of his body slipped out, and I caught him right under his arm pits, and pulled him onto my chest with a huge grin on my face! Andrea exclaimed out how beautiful it was and how glad she is when mama catches her baby herself, as Faith grabbed a towel off the rack by the tub and draped it over us and started gently rubbing him and making sure his color was okay. Ray was right next to me too, and holding on to both the baby and me while still trying to sit far enough back to get a good look at our little one. He had the most georgous color and was so still and quiet just staring into my face.
I woke up right after this, with a feeling that all was right in the world, and I could totally do this! I have to say as well, I have been having a lot of negativity pushed on me from various sources. While I wasn't really considering a hospital birth, I was starting to doubt myself, thinking I might be transferred or be so fearful I might not go into labor myself, or take forever to progress. I have been reading a ton of birth stories, especially from Ina May's books, to try and get myself back into this special place my dream brought me back into. I am so thankful!
Now I have had dreams about labor and birth before, not this pregnancy, so far this was the first, but previous pregnancies I had them a lot starting mid second trimester. They have all been kind of odd, like with weird doctors saying stuff, or me being terrified, strange people coming in, disasters happening, the baby not coming, etc. This was the only realistic labor and birth dream I have ever had. It was awesome. The only strange thing here was the toilet, there is no way I would have room to still be sitting on my toilet flat bottomed and be ale to reach between my legs and catch a baby. I have trouble wiping already, lol. But other than giganto toilet, it was pretty dead on with how I am praying my birth will turn out.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Still hurting...relief please!
I went back to the Dr. yesterday, my PCP whom I love! When I called to make the appointment, they got my records from Hilcrest from last Saturday. Apparently, there lab's said i had no infection, but a super high amount of blood in my urine. I'm kind of confused what that means, but Dr. Rhody says that I could still have an infection, just not the type they tested for, and it already be so bad I am bleeding internally. Or, I could have kidney stones that are scraping away at my kidney's and bladder. So I went to St. John's lab last night (open 24 hours so I didn't have to drag the kids down there with me, Yay!)and they are going to do another test to see what kind of infection, what antibiotics it is responding to, and if not we rule that out, and we will do more testing for kidney stones afterwards. Should hear back from them about all that today.
Only my kidneys don't hurt. Can you have bladder stones? I guess it is painful enough at times to be that, or what the pain from that feels like, as I have never had them before. But my kidney's haven't hurt at all.
So I got a stronger antibiotic, and she also gave me some Lortabs for the pain. I am trying not to take the Lortabs that often, I hate being on drugs, but I also hate hurting so bad I can't stand up to cook dinner.
Oh, and I figured out what was up with my midwife too. She is out of town at a conference, when I was texting her she had to keep going out of the conference room, that's why she had been so distracted. She apologized, and all is well :)
Only my kidneys don't hurt. Can you have bladder stones? I guess it is painful enough at times to be that, or what the pain from that feels like, as I have never had them before. But my kidney's haven't hurt at all.
So I got a stronger antibiotic, and she also gave me some Lortabs for the pain. I am trying not to take the Lortabs that often, I hate being on drugs, but I also hate hurting so bad I can't stand up to cook dinner.
Oh, and I figured out what was up with my midwife too. She is out of town at a conference, when I was texting her she had to keep going out of the conference room, that's why she had been so distracted. She apologized, and all is well :)
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Yay! Baby clothes!
Got a surprise today, my brother and his wife and kids came down to visit. They have a 17 month old little boy, and we only get to see them a few times a year. This is the first I have seen them since Thanksgiving last year. Today they brought me some baby stuff unexpectedly!
I knew they were coming to visit, and we had a nice time, but left a little early, my mom wasn't feeling well, and we were all at her house. When I went to load up my kiddo's in the car, he followed me out saying he had a few things for me, and had two hugs bags of clothes, a car seat, bouncer, mobile, and baby blankets for me. Awesome! The car seat was one of the only things I had been missing, or one of the only big things I was missing.
My list is getting shorter! Now all I need is a bathtub, towels, crib sheets, and burp rags, and a few of the smaller items I am forgetting. Not bad for not having squat for a boy and all hot pink stuff just a few short weeks ago. Thank God for a huge support network of helpful friends and family!
I knew they were coming to visit, and we had a nice time, but left a little early, my mom wasn't feeling well, and we were all at her house. When I went to load up my kiddo's in the car, he followed me out saying he had a few things for me, and had two hugs bags of clothes, a car seat, bouncer, mobile, and baby blankets for me. Awesome! The car seat was one of the only things I had been missing, or one of the only big things I was missing.
My list is getting shorter! Now all I need is a bathtub, towels, crib sheets, and burp rags, and a few of the smaller items I am forgetting. Not bad for not having squat for a boy and all hot pink stuff just a few short weeks ago. Thank God for a huge support network of helpful friends and family!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
My ER visit, and how glad I am to be planning a home birth!
I had the very unfortunate experience of having to go to the hospital today. I started feeling a litte burning yesterday, and feeling like I had to pee, just seconds after I did. Like, while I was still pulling my pants up, seconds later. I knew the sensation was the start of a UTI, and immediately started on a high dose of probiotics, and guzzling cranberry juice. It was already so late in the day I knew I wouldn't have been able to get into my PCP, but 9 out of 10 times I am fine with a little discomfort that goes away within a day or so and never is anything serious, my body fights it off by itself. Not this time.
I was up all night long with the feeling of having to go, but wasn't anything in there to let out. So I called my midwife Faith this morning, well, texted her actually. This is how the conversation went...
Me Can I take AZO (over the counter uit relief meds) while pegant, I really don't want to go to the ER, and I can't get into my pcp until Monday at the earliest. I have been drinking cranberry juice and water by the gallons and can't get relief
Faith Have you tried a major regimen of max dose vit c and asidophilous every 4 hours yet?
Me I have been taking the probiotics, but didn't up my vit c yet. By this point I am burning so bad though, is the AZO sae to take, do you know?
And I didn't hear back from her. Not happy with my midwife today, as you can probably tell. I usually love her to death, but she kind of let me hang there this afternoon. Yes, she gave me a suggestion of something else to try that would be more natural, which she knows is what I really have as a goal this pregnancy, but she never did answer my original question and didn't even respond in the end.
So by about 3pm I started having more frequent braxton hicks contractions. I knew I wasn't going into preterm labor or anything like that, but also knew the infection was irritating my uterus and couldn't keep going until Monday, so I decided to go ahead and go to the ER to get some antibiotics and some relief.
I texted Faith again and let her know I was going to go ahead and go in, she seemed shocked that it was that bad already, and apologized for not realizing how much I was hurting earlier in the day. I guess it's easy to misinterpret by text messaging, but I can't get her to answer the phone half the time. She only really answers calls if she is on call, and she is not right now, and has been in and out of town the last 2 weeks, especially on the weekends.
So I check in at Hillcrest around 4pm. They triage me, and tell me to wait in the waiting room because they might have me go to the Women's Pavilion since I am so far along in my pregnancy. Which is a shock to me, I'm not in labor, I have a dang UTI! I knew immediately I was gong to have a fight about the home birth topic, and they are probably going to want to monitor and check the baby and possibly even dilation. Great, not the fight I was up for today, already feeling like crap.
I actually tell the transport lady that I was prepared for the fight, but in a jokingly, friendly way. She asked me why, and when I told her I was a home birth patient, she nodded knowingly, and admitted yeah, I was probably right. That was another thing I dealt with, I had to ride in a wheel chair over to the women's center, they wouldn't let me walk. Although at this point, I knew I had many battles that would be possible and figured I might as well choose them wisely!
It really didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would. When we got to triage, the nurse at the front desk, asks me who my OB was, I told her I had a midwife, and gave her name. So she shakes her head, and says "but what clinic is she at?" No clinic, home birth. This is where it got kind of funny. She really says "home birth, but how are you going to do that at home?" Well, I wasn't exactly sure if she wanted the whole process spelled out for her or not. I didn't know how to answer the question without making her look more stupid. So I told her it would be the same basic process as the hospital, only with less interruption, people I actually know taking care of me, and I would be at home. The other nurse saw her floundering and took me away before she could say any more. I was slightly amused by this point.
I still am not quite understanding why this had to be such a big production, but because I am pregnant they are apparently unable to treat anything until they have done a complete check of the baby, so on go the monitors, pee in a cup, and change into a gown. Ugh. This is why I am having my baby at home, soI don't have to do this anymore! But this nurse was very sweet. Had me do the whole prenatal history, past birth history and so on. As I told her more and more about it she seemed to acknowledge more and more that I might actually be capable and not out to kill me baby with my home birth choice.
Baby boy was hyper too. I don't remember him being that active before, it was like he was doing cartwheels in there trying to get away from the monitor they had to keep rearranging. He obviously didn't think it was needed, and neither did I, but again, I figured I had better pick my battles, especially since this is the hospital I will go to if I end up needing to transfer care for any reason.
Finally, a midwife from the OU clinic came in to talk to me about what was going on. She was so sweet. I liked her a lot actually and completely forgot to get her name when I left, I had already forgotten it a few times by this point, due to notorious preggo brain that I am not so fond of.
She ckecke my blood pressure again, it had been high he first time right after I had come in (I wonder why, having to argue with the birth Nazi and all) and it was back to normal, better than it has been in while actually. I contribute it to the soothing sounds of baby's heart beat, better than those ocean tapes any day!
We talked about me home birth choice. Only she dd it in a more friendly, just making sure you know what you are doing and have weighed all options type of way, not a condescending way. I was very grateful for that. When I told her how big Kayla was (10lbs. 2oz), and that I pushed her out in less than 20 minute, sunny side up, she laughed and told me some women are made for birthing, and I must be one of them.
Finally she gets to the point of my visit. My uti. Tells me the resident OB (who I never met, more on that later) wants to monitor me a little longer because I have been having some contractions. I remind her that this is my 5th baby, braxton hicks do start a lot sooner, and if they will treat my infection the will go down to a normal frequency, to which she agrees. Tells me that she will write up a prescription and have me out soon.
So I wait......
And wait....
And wait some more....
When she comes back in, she has the supplies ready to do a vaginal exam. Looks at me very apologetically, says he wants her to check my dilation because of the BH's. This was the battle I was waiting for. I was trying to be light, but still firm about not wanting one. During my pause of how exactly to go about doing that tactfully, she says how unfortunate it is, but that when you come to the hospital, most OB's want a check before you can leave. So I asked her how he would feel if I traded permission for a rectal exam on him, and she laughs, tells me I can decline if I wanted to. I told her I really didn't see a reason to push any kind of germs in that area closer to my cervix if I already was having trouble with BH's, and to let me know if there was really a valid reason, but if not, I would rather just skip that part. She giggled again, and said well, at least it is well thought out and practical reason, not just that I was squeamish on getting checked. And left me be.
Big sigh of relief it didn't take more than that. But then there was more waiting.
After being there for about 4 hours. I finally get discharged. Midwife comes back in, tells me she's sorry. Admits to me that the OB was trying to give her time to talk me out of a home birth, giving me risks etc. I asked her how that went for her, and she says " The way I see it, you have a relationship with your midwife we can't even compare with at our offices, let alone one visit to triage. Not to mention, your body is a pro at doing this already, and after talking to you, you really know your stuff. How am I supposed to compete with that?"
And I am finally free at last! Sent home with an antibiotic, and some medicine I can't remember the name of, but seems to do the same thing as the AZO, and turns my pee oompa-loompa orange, lol.
Things I learned tonight?
1)Those dang monitor things are super uncomfortable.
2)I hate having to explain my choices to everyone when those choices go against their procedure.
3)My midwife ticks me of sometimes, but is still 1,000 x better than dealing with all the chaos of the hospital any day.
4)If I can convince a hospital MEDwife, that I am capable, and know what I am dong, I might actually have the confidence to go through with it :).
I was up all night long with the feeling of having to go, but wasn't anything in there to let out. So I called my midwife Faith this morning, well, texted her actually. This is how the conversation went...
Me Can I take AZO (over the counter uit relief meds) while pegant, I really don't want to go to the ER, and I can't get into my pcp until Monday at the earliest. I have been drinking cranberry juice and water by the gallons and can't get relief
Faith Have you tried a major regimen of max dose vit c and asidophilous every 4 hours yet?
Me I have been taking the probiotics, but didn't up my vit c yet. By this point I am burning so bad though, is the AZO sae to take, do you know?
And I didn't hear back from her. Not happy with my midwife today, as you can probably tell. I usually love her to death, but she kind of let me hang there this afternoon. Yes, she gave me a suggestion of something else to try that would be more natural, which she knows is what I really have as a goal this pregnancy, but she never did answer my original question and didn't even respond in the end.
So by about 3pm I started having more frequent braxton hicks contractions. I knew I wasn't going into preterm labor or anything like that, but also knew the infection was irritating my uterus and couldn't keep going until Monday, so I decided to go ahead and go to the ER to get some antibiotics and some relief.
I texted Faith again and let her know I was going to go ahead and go in, she seemed shocked that it was that bad already, and apologized for not realizing how much I was hurting earlier in the day. I guess it's easy to misinterpret by text messaging, but I can't get her to answer the phone half the time. She only really answers calls if she is on call, and she is not right now, and has been in and out of town the last 2 weeks, especially on the weekends.
So I check in at Hillcrest around 4pm. They triage me, and tell me to wait in the waiting room because they might have me go to the Women's Pavilion since I am so far along in my pregnancy. Which is a shock to me, I'm not in labor, I have a dang UTI! I knew immediately I was gong to have a fight about the home birth topic, and they are probably going to want to monitor and check the baby and possibly even dilation. Great, not the fight I was up for today, already feeling like crap.
I actually tell the transport lady that I was prepared for the fight, but in a jokingly, friendly way. She asked me why, and when I told her I was a home birth patient, she nodded knowingly, and admitted yeah, I was probably right. That was another thing I dealt with, I had to ride in a wheel chair over to the women's center, they wouldn't let me walk. Although at this point, I knew I had many battles that would be possible and figured I might as well choose them wisely!
It really didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would. When we got to triage, the nurse at the front desk, asks me who my OB was, I told her I had a midwife, and gave her name. So she shakes her head, and says "but what clinic is she at?" No clinic, home birth. This is where it got kind of funny. She really says "home birth, but how are you going to do that at home?" Well, I wasn't exactly sure if she wanted the whole process spelled out for her or not. I didn't know how to answer the question without making her look more stupid. So I told her it would be the same basic process as the hospital, only with less interruption, people I actually know taking care of me, and I would be at home. The other nurse saw her floundering and took me away before she could say any more. I was slightly amused by this point.
I still am not quite understanding why this had to be such a big production, but because I am pregnant they are apparently unable to treat anything until they have done a complete check of the baby, so on go the monitors, pee in a cup, and change into a gown. Ugh. This is why I am having my baby at home, soI don't have to do this anymore! But this nurse was very sweet. Had me do the whole prenatal history, past birth history and so on. As I told her more and more about it she seemed to acknowledge more and more that I might actually be capable and not out to kill me baby with my home birth choice.
Baby boy was hyper too. I don't remember him being that active before, it was like he was doing cartwheels in there trying to get away from the monitor they had to keep rearranging. He obviously didn't think it was needed, and neither did I, but again, I figured I had better pick my battles, especially since this is the hospital I will go to if I end up needing to transfer care for any reason.
Finally, a midwife from the OU clinic came in to talk to me about what was going on. She was so sweet. I liked her a lot actually and completely forgot to get her name when I left, I had already forgotten it a few times by this point, due to notorious preggo brain that I am not so fond of.
She ckecke my blood pressure again, it had been high he first time right after I had come in (I wonder why, having to argue with the birth Nazi and all) and it was back to normal, better than it has been in while actually. I contribute it to the soothing sounds of baby's heart beat, better than those ocean tapes any day!
We talked about me home birth choice. Only she dd it in a more friendly, just making sure you know what you are doing and have weighed all options type of way, not a condescending way. I was very grateful for that. When I told her how big Kayla was (10lbs. 2oz), and that I pushed her out in less than 20 minute, sunny side up, she laughed and told me some women are made for birthing, and I must be one of them.
Finally she gets to the point of my visit. My uti. Tells me the resident OB (who I never met, more on that later) wants to monitor me a little longer because I have been having some contractions. I remind her that this is my 5th baby, braxton hicks do start a lot sooner, and if they will treat my infection the will go down to a normal frequency, to which she agrees. Tells me that she will write up a prescription and have me out soon.
So I wait......
And wait....
And wait some more....
When she comes back in, she has the supplies ready to do a vaginal exam. Looks at me very apologetically, says he wants her to check my dilation because of the BH's. This was the battle I was waiting for. I was trying to be light, but still firm about not wanting one. During my pause of how exactly to go about doing that tactfully, she says how unfortunate it is, but that when you come to the hospital, most OB's want a check before you can leave. So I asked her how he would feel if I traded permission for a rectal exam on him, and she laughs, tells me I can decline if I wanted to. I told her I really didn't see a reason to push any kind of germs in that area closer to my cervix if I already was having trouble with BH's, and to let me know if there was really a valid reason, but if not, I would rather just skip that part. She giggled again, and said well, at least it is well thought out and practical reason, not just that I was squeamish on getting checked. And left me be.
Big sigh of relief it didn't take more than that. But then there was more waiting.
After being there for about 4 hours. I finally get discharged. Midwife comes back in, tells me she's sorry. Admits to me that the OB was trying to give her time to talk me out of a home birth, giving me risks etc. I asked her how that went for her, and she says " The way I see it, you have a relationship with your midwife we can't even compare with at our offices, let alone one visit to triage. Not to mention, your body is a pro at doing this already, and after talking to you, you really know your stuff. How am I supposed to compete with that?"
And I am finally free at last! Sent home with an antibiotic, and some medicine I can't remember the name of, but seems to do the same thing as the AZO, and turns my pee oompa-loompa orange, lol.
Things I learned tonight?
1)Those dang monitor things are super uncomfortable.
2)I hate having to explain my choices to everyone when those choices go against their procedure.
3)My midwife ticks me of sometimes, but is still 1,000 x better than dealing with all the chaos of the hospital any day.
4)If I can convince a hospital MEDwife, that I am capable, and know what I am dong, I might actually have the confidence to go through with it :).
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Awe, that is an awesome feeling :)
So I have been feeling the baby kick for a few weeks now. His placenta is anterior, in the front, off to my left side just slightly, so I have been feeling him, but haven't been able to feel anything from the outside yet. Finally this morning, I had my hand of to the side by my hip and felt him bump me. Ray was in the living room already, we had just gotten up, so I yelled for him to come back. I was afraid if I moved baby boy would stop moving, as is our routine. Well, Ray finally got to feel him too. He seemed pretty excited, he's been asking me for a few weeks when I think baby boy will be strong enough to feel from this side of things.
I love the baby kicks this early in the game. i find myself looking froward to when he is rolling and morphing my belly with every movement so the kids can watch. They really don't have the patience yet to sit and wait for the sporadic bumps through out the day :)
I love the baby kicks this early in the game. i find myself looking froward to when he is rolling and morphing my belly with every movement so the kids can watch. They really don't have the patience yet to sit and wait for the sporadic bumps through out the day :)
really...REALLY?!?! Have a little faith already...
So I talked with my mom again about the home birth. That was a mistake :(
My midwife is having a series of 2 classes that are coming up for home birth education. Since I am a doula, I am optional to attend, where most of her patients have mandatory attendance. But I am going to go ahead and go because Ray will end up with a lot more responsibility on him being at home, and I figured it would be good for everyone to have clearer roles of what they were supposed to do, and also how any emergencies would be handled just in case. I am really wanting my mom to be here during the birth, but she is freaking out at the idea. So I offered to have her come to the classes too. Thinking it would ease her mind if she knew a little more about the plan in case of an emergency, and could see how well I am gong to be taken care of.
Yeah, I was way wrong on that one. She in no way wants to be part of it at all. Went as far as to tell me how high her blood pressure was getting just thinking of it, she is afraid me and the baby are going to die, and was afraid if she was here she would ruin it for me, wanting to call an ambulance the whole time. Says she loves me and trusts my decision, but admits she is not as knowledgeable about it and doesn't want to be aware of me being in labor, would I please just call her when it's done and let her know it is all okay.
I tried to explain to her the possible scenarios that were most likely to go wrong in a home birth, and how easily and qualified my midwife is to handle them, how most of the time there really isn't an emergency, just something that can be treated still at home. Well, then she yelled at me telling me I was giving her more ideas of what could go wrong. Ooops. That back fired, big time.
I love my mom, but honestly it really isn't a huge deal if she is present to see the new baby or not. The reason I am so adamant about wanting her here is because Kassidy wants her to be here, and my mom is the only person in the world right now that she likes more than Ray or me. If I am in the middle of transition, and Kassi gets worried, or needs something, she will want Ray to leave me, to take care of her. Not cool. But, if Nana (my mom) is here, she won't give a care, and will want her to do it. She is also the only person she will leave with if it gets to overwhelming for her. My mom knows where all her stuff is, and can pack her a bag and leave without disrupting my flow of things in the least.
I really am also having a lot of issues with how different she and I are. The more she realizes how serious I am about not going to the hospital, the more worried she gets. I cringe at the thought of my daughters going to the hospital when they have their babies. I think that is one of the reasons I really want Kassi to be here if she wants to be. Birth is Normal, I want her to see that fist hand. Not have her fear her labors as she grows into a mother, but look forward to them, the way I have never been able to before, but am this time.
My midwife is having a series of 2 classes that are coming up for home birth education. Since I am a doula, I am optional to attend, where most of her patients have mandatory attendance. But I am going to go ahead and go because Ray will end up with a lot more responsibility on him being at home, and I figured it would be good for everyone to have clearer roles of what they were supposed to do, and also how any emergencies would be handled just in case. I am really wanting my mom to be here during the birth, but she is freaking out at the idea. So I offered to have her come to the classes too. Thinking it would ease her mind if she knew a little more about the plan in case of an emergency, and could see how well I am gong to be taken care of.
Yeah, I was way wrong on that one. She in no way wants to be part of it at all. Went as far as to tell me how high her blood pressure was getting just thinking of it, she is afraid me and the baby are going to die, and was afraid if she was here she would ruin it for me, wanting to call an ambulance the whole time. Says she loves me and trusts my decision, but admits she is not as knowledgeable about it and doesn't want to be aware of me being in labor, would I please just call her when it's done and let her know it is all okay.
I tried to explain to her the possible scenarios that were most likely to go wrong in a home birth, and how easily and qualified my midwife is to handle them, how most of the time there really isn't an emergency, just something that can be treated still at home. Well, then she yelled at me telling me I was giving her more ideas of what could go wrong. Ooops. That back fired, big time.
I love my mom, but honestly it really isn't a huge deal if she is present to see the new baby or not. The reason I am so adamant about wanting her here is because Kassidy wants her to be here, and my mom is the only person in the world right now that she likes more than Ray or me. If I am in the middle of transition, and Kassi gets worried, or needs something, she will want Ray to leave me, to take care of her. Not cool. But, if Nana (my mom) is here, she won't give a care, and will want her to do it. She is also the only person she will leave with if it gets to overwhelming for her. My mom knows where all her stuff is, and can pack her a bag and leave without disrupting my flow of things in the least.
I really am also having a lot of issues with how different she and I are. The more she realizes how serious I am about not going to the hospital, the more worried she gets. I cringe at the thought of my daughters going to the hospital when they have their babies. I think that is one of the reasons I really want Kassi to be here if she wants to be. Birth is Normal, I want her to see that fist hand. Not have her fear her labors as she grows into a mother, but look forward to them, the way I have never been able to before, but am this time.
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