I woke up this morning from the most amazing dream. Dreams are always very vivid to me during pregnancy, but never before have I had one so realistic, about the actual birthing process.
It has started to fade from me as the day goes on, I really should have posted this first thing when I woke up.
I was at home, with my midwives, and my husband, my kids were not here, not even Kassi or Kayla. I was back and forth between my living room where the birth tub was set up, and my bedroom. Everyone was very supportive, and I wasn't scared or in any serious pain, but felt very intense. It was obvious to me I was going through transition. I had a break between transition and pushing where I had no contractions, and went to the bathroom to go pee and see if it felt good to sit on the toilet. It felt great, and I had my labor team stay out of the room so I could gather my thoughts since I still wasn't contracting. I kept thinking, this position will help the baby come down so I can feel the urge to push. When I finally did feel the urge, I reached down to apply counter pressure to my burning perineum, and felt his head right there, so I held it in my hands as it emerged. I was still on the toilet, and didn't want him to fall into the water, so I called out to my midwives, and asked them for help. I wasn't freaking out or anything, just very calm, but I felt unsure on the inside. Faith and Andrea (the two that were there that I can remember. I vaguely think other people may have been, but I blocked them out) answered they were coming, but I could tell from their relaxed sound that they didn't know what was going on, so I called to them, "please hurry, I am holding his head already!" so they came in a bit faster, with Ray trying to rush in as well to see the baby, he was trying to go around them without being rude, but was obviously very anxious. As they came in, the rest of his body slipped out, and I caught him right under his arm pits, and pulled him onto my chest with a huge grin on my face! Andrea exclaimed out how beautiful it was and how glad she is when mama catches her baby herself, as Faith grabbed a towel off the rack by the tub and draped it over us and started gently rubbing him and making sure his color was okay. Ray was right next to me too, and holding on to both the baby and me while still trying to sit far enough back to get a good look at our little one. He had the most georgous color and was so still and quiet just staring into my face.
I woke up right after this, with a feeling that all was right in the world, and I could totally do this! I have to say as well, I have been having a lot of negativity pushed on me from various sources. While I wasn't really considering a hospital birth, I was starting to doubt myself, thinking I might be transferred or be so fearful I might not go into labor myself, or take forever to progress. I have been reading a ton of birth stories, especially from Ina May's books, to try and get myself back into this special place my dream brought me back into. I am so thankful!
Now I have had dreams about labor and birth before, not this pregnancy, so far this was the first, but previous pregnancies I had them a lot starting mid second trimester. They have all been kind of odd, like with weird doctors saying stuff, or me being terrified, strange people coming in, disasters happening, the baby not coming, etc. This was the only realistic labor and birth dream I have ever had. It was awesome. The only strange thing here was the toilet, there is no way I would have room to still be sitting on my toilet flat bottomed and be ale to reach between my legs and catch a baby. I have trouble wiping already, lol. But other than giganto toilet, it was pretty dead on with how I am praying my birth will turn out.
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