May 22nd, 2011 - in hospital triage, awaiting decisions
So here I am, at the hospital, hooked up to monitors and a blood pressure cuff (which was still looking pretty darn good, averaging at my normal, around 120-130/70ish) just kind of hanging out with my mom in this super small uncomfortable bed in the crappiest triage room ever. The numbness started to fade slowly from my arm, and at about 3:30 I suddenly remembered where Ray worked at. It was the strangest thing, I looked at my mom and just said the words. So we got on the phone trying to reach him. I got the companies answering machine, and left a message, thinking no one would get it until the next day with it being Sunday and the front office being closed. Just my luck. Left another text for him to come to the hospital after work.
At around 4, 2 doctors, and 3 or 4 nurses came into the room. Hooked up an I.V., and wanted to do a pap, gbs, and check dilation, etc. I had been having my usual braxton hicks8-10 minutes apart. I figured they were getting stronger because I knew I was dehydrated (I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since before church that morning, around 10 o'clock or so) and had asked for a drink and if my mom could get a snack a few times, but they kept saying no, not until they knew what was wrong with me.
I started to deny the vaginal exam, etc, as I had when I was there for my kidney infection a few months earlier, but my mom was freaking out when I tried to, and they seemed pretty serious that they needed to do the gbs test, so I let them. That should have been my first clue they were thinking of delivering early, but it didn't dawn on me. I just thought they were worried about the frequency of my BH's, which I knew were normal for me. I was of course, closed, thick and firm when they checked dilation.
I told them my numbness was going away from my arm and my memory had improved, so they did another set of tests on my reflexes, the funny faces, and memory games. The doctors said they would probably keep me overnight for observation, and probably do an MRI in the morning.
Sine I was staying my mom decided she would go ahead and leave, pick my boys up (the girls were going to stay with Alisha and Ryan, and the boys with my mom), bring me up some clothes, etc and let the boys visit me for a minute. Derek was pretty worried about me and wanted to see for himself all was okay. So she left.
I tried calling Faith again a few times while I was in triage and left one message saying they were going to admit me after my mom left. I was getting more than a little upset with her at this point. I also texted Ray a few more times, and called his work again. Why was everyone ignoring me when I obviously had important stuff I needed them for!
Then I just sat and prayed. I didn't know what was wrong with me, or why everyone was freaking out so much, but I just wanted understanding and strength while I was stuck in the hospital. I sat there daydreaming about going home and thinking how lucky I was that I didn't have to have the horrid monitors etc on me when I actually gave birth, this was just a hiccup along the way. Still no doubt in my mind I was going home the next day and having my baby at home, a lot closer to his due date!
May 22nd, 2011 - being admitted and the chaos that follows
I was finally wheeled up to my new room, on the high-risk antenatal floor. Fun. As I was being settled in I was still asking for something to eat, which I was denied, no drinks either.
The nurse (whom I absolutely loved!) came in to get me settled, and my mom called saying her and the boys were downstairs and she needed my new room number. As they entered the room, my mom was trying to get me to focus ont he boys, as the nurse was trying to do my admitting exam, as she called it. Never had one of those before, but oh well.
Suddenly she went from bright and cheerful, to eyes wide and very serious. She quit suddenly in the middle of everything, left the room saying she would be right back. This had me worried immediately.
She came back in no more than 2 full minutes, with a doctor, another nurse, and a shot, asking me to roll over they had to put it into my thigh. No explanations other than that. My mom was still trying to get my attention, my boys wee there wanting to see me, and all these hospital personnel in my room... I finally just freaked, yelled for everyone to stop, looked over at my mom, and asked her to take the boys for a walk for about 5 minutes, and then come back. The look on my face, she didn't argue. This is when it finally hit me. I could think of no other reason for a shot, except for a steroid for the baby's lungs, and that was only if they were going to deliver early.
As my mom and kids walked out, I just sat with my head in my hands. Told the nurse and doctor they would have to wait just a second. I had a ton of questions, and had no real answers yet. They all started talking at once, saying they didn't have a lot of time and would explain everything later, needed more tests, etc... so I interrupted again. Asked why they were giving the shot, what exactly it was, the nurse told me steroids. I asked her if they were going to take the baby. She told me that my pupil on my right side was completely dilated, and unresponsive, and my reflexes were getting weaker. They weren't sure about inducing yet but needed to be ready just in case. The doctor chimed in that they weren't going to wait until morning for the MRI, and were calling someone in to do it that night.
So I rolled over, took the shot, and they all left saying they would be back in a few minutes to check on me. The nurse was the last one out and said if I could get my records from my midwife that night it would be a great help.
I called Faith again, and she said she would be on her way as soon as she got back home. She apologized saying she didn't think it was that serious, and would see me soon. Apparently, she had gone with some friends to a get together after church and didn't have her own car.
After that I called Ray again. He would be getting off work in about 15 minutes (6:45 at this point). No answer on his cell, so I decided I would keep calling his job until someone answered it and could get a message to him. Thank God they answered on the first ring this time. Ray's boss, said he just happened to be walking through the office. Ray jumped on the phone, said he had forgot his cell at home in the jeans he had worn the night before, it was probably dead. He went ahead and left right then after a short explanation of what was going on. I couldn't believe how relieved I felt. I didn't realize how much I had been holding back waiting on him to be with me.
My mom came back in at this point, and I didn't tell her about exactly what they had said. She is a constant worrier, and I kinew her stress would make it worse on me. I also didn't want my boys to know it was that bad yet. They left after just a ittle bit.
Ray got there soon after all this. Another doctor came in and explained the MRI had me sign a few papers, and I asked what the tests were for exactly. They just said they were checking for various things, and would have more info to tell me after they got the results.
My mom had called me back about the way I was when she had to leave earlier, said she knew something was wrong, so I went ahead and told her. So she was now back, with my Aunt Liz and Aunt Kathy. Thy were all still there when they came to wheel me off for my MRI.
I got down to the room, and the tech started asking me if I was chlosterphobic. I told her I didn't think so, but had never really been anywhere small to say for sure. Once they got me on the table, and started to put me in the long tube, I realized I was wrong. I am extremely claustrophobic. I started waving my hands like she had said to, to signal I needed to be pulled out. I was hyperventilating and felt like I was going to throw up. I was already nauseous from not eating for so long, but this sent it way over the top. We talked for a bit, and she had asked me if I wanted to go back down and they could try a CT scan instead, but I had already drilled everyone over the risks of each, and knew the MRI would be the safer option for the baby, so I told her I would try again.
Second try wasn't any better. Worse in fact. I hadn't completely recovered from the first try, and I knew what to expect this time, which made it worse. So she pulled me out again. I just started crying. I apologized probably 20 times. I kept telling them if I could get some crackers or something to settle my stomach, I could probably suffer through the rest of it, but they said they couldn't and didn't want me to suffer or raise my blood pressure ovedr it. She was super nice, said this happens to about half of all people, and helped me feel alot better about the whole thing immediately.
So back up to my room we went.
There was a new nurse now. Still a very nice one, but not as great and open to answering my questions as the first was. Ray was gone to get some dinner with my Aunt Kathy, and Faith was now there, with my mom. Aunt Liz had left. Everything was a blur around me. I know Ray came back at some point. My head was still trying to process the fact that I might be having Jaxon early, I was just dazed and completely unaware of what was going on with everyone around me. I know they were all talking, asking me questions, but I just couldn't focus on company at that point.
My mom finally went home. Faith stayed for some time, asking me about what tests they were running, and I didn't have any answers for her.
The doctor came in again, and we discussed doinjg a CT scan. They asked if I thought I could handle it, and if I would rather just have them put me under for the MRI. I didn't understand why it was such a big deal, what were they looking for. Again, no answers. So I agreed on the CT scan, they had me pretty scared by this tme.
The first doctor walked by again to check and see if I had left yet, and I stopped him, saying I had a few questions before we could do the MRI. My brain had been spinning and so confused since that afternoon, I realized I had almost no info on what exactly they were doing to me at all. What were they checking for???
He said they were looking for various things, and it was a whole team of doctors working on my case (I had seen 3 at this point), and he wasn't the one who had ordered it exactly...very vague. The lady was trying to wheel me away while I was still trying to question him, so I finally gave up, thinking I would be able to grill him once we were done.
As they started to wheel me away as lab tech came in. She asked if we could go ahead and take blood before I left, so we went ahead and did that first. She kept piling these vials into my lap )I was still in the wheelchair) and after counting over 20 of them I finally asked what they were all for. She wouldn't answer me directly. So of course I got suspicious. She did say that at least 23,24 (can't remember exact number, but something outrageous like mid 20's) were for one test. There were 36 all together, I do remember that. But she wouldn't tell me the tests, just how many vials were for each one. From here on out, they took about 10 vials from me every 4 hours until he was born.
I handled the CT scan just fine. It was a much bigger opening, the MRI only gave me about an inch clearance with my belly, enough I couldn't even get my hands to rest on my belly without touching it, it was that small. This was much betetr. They had me laying on one of those metal shield vests, then one laid over my belly, and one on each side of me overlapping the ones on my belly and the one I was laying on. This only took about 15 minutes or so.
When I got back, I sent Faith home, it was about midnight, and I knew I would probably need her again later, no need in just sitting around waiting with me, plus I was exhausted by this point. The nurses did come in again before she left and did my vitals, and those tests on me again. My pupil and reflexes apparently were still messed up, but I could see all but about a quarter size spot now, and also I had feeling back in my arm and shoulder. Just my face was numb again.
The doctor came back again to check on me. I finally told him I was tired of not knowing what was going on with me, and I wanted to know what tests they were running. He looked me straight in the eye and told me he didn't want to scare me, they were looking for many, many things, and he just wanted to focus on the results and not go into details on the what-if's. So basically no answers, again. He said they would have the CT results in a few hours, and depending on what they were, I could eat. He did let the nurse get me some ice.
When she came in she also took the baby off the monitor so I could sleep. He kept rolling around, and it was a pain to keep him on there. Everything had looked perfect with them, so she said it was no big deal. My BH's had almost completely stopped since I had gotten some IV fluids.
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