Things so did not go as planned :( part 1

Jaxon is here, a little early. 7 weeks early to be exact. It was a crazy and emotional roller coaster, and I am writing this extremely after the fact, so I hope I remember all the details. I will probably be coming back and editing quite frequently. I blocked so much of it at first, and trying to recapture it is harder than I had originally thought.

May 22nd, 2011 - when things went wrong, and on the way to the hospital.
We to church with my mom and kids Sunday morning. Ray was at work, he works 12 hour days, so I was on my own for the day. Usually not a problem. Had a great service.

As I was leaving, I noticed my vision was a bit messed up. Kind of similar to if you look at the sun or a bright light, how it takes your eyes some time to recover. I assumed it was because I had been in and out of church nurseries, and then outside to the bright lights, and it would just take me a few minutes to recover, no big deal. So off to the car with the kids.

Once settled in, I went to turn my cell back on, and my hand disappeared from my vision. After waving it back and forth like a crazy person trying to figure out what was going on exactly, I came to the conclusion that I had no peripheral vision on my right side. Midline and towards the left I was fine, but to the right it was gone, just gone. I freaked out and called my mom, who was still in the parking lot with my step-dad. Told her I was going to try and drive home, but was staying on the side roads, avoiding the highway and to please follow me to make sure I got there alright. I was scared shitless, but I guess remained calm enough that she didn't really take me seriously. She did have my dad follow me though.

By the time I was about half way home, my face started to go numb on the right side too. My first thought was maybe bells palsy, so I called my midwife. She said it sounded plausible, and she would look it up and call me back. Derek looked at me about then, and said my eye wasn't opening and my face looked funny. I looked in the rear view mirror and my right eye was droopy and I wasn't moving that side of my mouth either.

After trying to convince myself that it was no big deal for the last 10 minutes, suddenly I felt I HAD to get to the hospital... so I called my mom (who was still following me home, almost there by now) and asked her if my step-dad could please watch the kids and could she take me to the hospital. She actually told me no. That she would if she absolutely had to, but would have to take him home (he works from home and was running late tuning his phones back on)and then might come and pick up the kids and drop me off at the hospital, and could it not wait until the next day when Ray got off work, and why couldn't I have my midwife come to the house so she didn't have to watch the kids, and on and on and on. I finally told her forget it and decided I would just find another way. She later apologized and said she didn't think it was serious because I was so calm, and not fr3eaking out at all, just really nonchalant. In truth I was terrified and just trying to not scare my kids.

I tried calling Faith back twice on my way home, no answer.

By the time I got the van emptied of all the rugrats and settled inside, my whole right side of my head was numb down to my shoulder. I picked up my cell phone to start calling people to come watch the kids and made it about half way down my phone book list, and realized I didn't remember half of the people there. I was looking at names of friends I have had for years, and couldn't remember who they were. I knew I needed to call a friend of mine, but couldn't remember her name to call her (we sometimes watch each others kids, I knew she would help if no one else would.) I could remember her face, and times we had seen each other, but not her name. It was horrible. I finally put a note on facebook

"I need someone to watch my kids! Please someone help, I cant see out of my right eye and my face is numb, I am wanting to go get checked out, I need help"

Thank God Ray's brother, Ryan, and his wife, Alisha, saw it and called me. They said they would watch my kids and were on their way over. They wanted me to call an ambulance. I really didn't want to do that, because I knew it would scare the other kids if I left in an ambulance, but in the end it's what happened.

My mom also called and said she would come take me, she was actually getting worried now, and my dad came by as well. He is disabled, so not able to stay with my kids, but it was good he was there for me as much as he could.

When Ryan, my bil, got there with Alisha, he asked if I had called Ray yet. I had texted his cell a few imes, just saying I needed to hear from him on his break. When I told him I hadn't reached him he wanted to know his work number and was going to call him himself. I didn't have it saved in my cell, and suddenly realized I couldn't remember it, or the name of the business to even look it up. I couldn't remember the name of the company my husband worked at. I just broke down crying. At this point, Ryan called the ambulance. I couldn't even remember my address. He had to walk down the street to see what street I lived on to tell the dispatcher. It was about 1pm at this point.

We had the kids pretty calm still, only Derek, my oldest really knew anything was seriously wrong. So when I heard sirens, I went out to the front porch to keep them out of the house, I blew them all a kiss as I walked out the door, thinking I would be back later that night. I sat on the front steps as all the paramedics surrounded me, checking blood pressure (which was perfectly normal at this point) and various other things. I do remember they asked me a few questions to test my memory, and I couldn't remember the presidents name. I even had to pause to remember the year, but I got that one right. My mom pulled up as they were loading me in the ambulance. Ray still had no idea anything was even wrong. I had tried calling his cell a few times, no answer, and texted him again just saying I was headed to the hospital because I was feeling funky and to call me so I could explain more then. I thought for sure he would have called me by this point, so was starting to get worried about him too.

There was some confusion on where they were supposed to take me, to the ER or straight to triage at L&D. Finally settled on triage, just in case, which I thought was kind of silly. I didn't really think this would affect the pregnancy at this point, and was just getting discouraged.

My mom had followed us in her car, and came in as they wheeled me in to triage. They hooked me up the monitors and such and started asking me questions. It was so strange because I could picture what I wanted to say, but kept forgetting simple words, and events, peoples names, etc. Nobody seemed concerned, just very laid back, so I was starting to calm down as well. I was more mad and frustrated with myself at this point. It was around 2-2:30 now.

After the OB came in, she did a bunch of reflex tests. And then started to ask me to make weird faces, like smile real big, close both eyes as tight as you can, open them both bugged eyed. I felt kind of silly, but could see the concern on her face. This was when the numbness was at it's worse too. I couldn't feel the whole right side of my face, down my arm and shoulder to right above my wrist. It felt like I had been shot full of Novocain. (another word I kept forgetting so when I tried to describe it no one really understood, unfortunately.

The doctor said he was going to consult with another doctor, monitor the baby for a while, and if I needed anything let them know, they would be back in a little while. Which of course meant a few hours.

I think I'll finish the rest in another post to come soon. The story is so long and frustrating I am going to have to break it up for my own sanity.